Because when you’re sure of what works for you, it’s easier to talk about it,” Shah said. “Whether you’re unmarried or married or just about to get married, it’s important for women to know their own bodies and know how sex works for them. So how can a woman, who has just entered an arranged marriage, overcome these cultural and societal barriers and talk to her partner about her sexual desires? Understand your own body Both forget that the woman is also an equal part in that equation,” intimacy coach and sexuality educator Niyatii Shah told Re:Set. Unfortunately, its skewed perspective teaches men that they have a right to demand and have sex, and it teaches the woman that the man can ask for sex and she needs to give in to it. “For most Indians, Bollywood is the main source of education when it comes to romance and sex. But, for the most part, Indian women in arranged marriages don’t often get the opportunity to talk about their needs and wants. While traditional discourse also doesn’t allow for these conversations to happen in an arranged marriage, it is slowly becoming more normalized thanks to progressive cinema and social media. In such a repressive system, that lacks proper sex education and doesn’t encourage conversations around sex and sexuality, it can be difficult for Indian women, especially those who enter an arranged marriage set up, to talk about their sex life. “For most Indians, Bollywood is the main source of education when it comes to romance and sex.” This is especially true for many Indian women, whose desires are invalidated from a young age, who are taught not to speak openly, who are even discouraged from speaking to the opposite sex until they are married. It’s because we’re taught that sex is taboo from a young age.īut what happens when you want to talk about your sexual life with your partner? While it can be awkward and daunting to verbalize your desires, your dislikes, and also gauge what your partner wants in bed, it is an important conversation to have. N o matter how progressive we may be, we still tend to drop our voices when we discuss sex in India or use metaphors to indirectly indicate body parts or sexual acts.
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